Dear Sophia,
I was tought as a child to disregard the exterior, and look deep within to find qualities worth while. However, I couldn't do that with you, because you have absolutely no qualities worth justifying your existence. I'll start by saying that I have no affinity for you, whatsoever. I must say, it makes my anxiety levels diminish a little knowing you'll be out of our lives for good. I just hope that someone from far, far away has a low enough IQ level to actually want to take you off our hands.
At first, I didn't have a problem with you. But as the time went by, and the mud layers grew disgustingly thicker, and the headaches became part of a daily routine, and he started caring more about you than me, resentment has become overwhelming. Just wait. Soon the day will come when I look in the driveway and won't get an eyesore. I'll gaze through the smudged glass of the window, my peripheral zoned in on sun-kissed blacktop cracked with weeds gently pushing their way through, and in the middle of the drive way, a slight discoloration of pavement -thanks to your tendency to leak. What I will not see is your colossal silhouette, all red and rusted, crusty with a blanket of mud. I won't settle onto your always-scorching-hot leather cab. I won't have to fight with the seat belt: yank... tug... pull. (Insert obscenity here). Click. Oh, yes. Poor me. I won't have to question whether or not the wind will be cooperative, won't have to compromise a wind-proof coiffure. I'll have to worry about neither the transmission blowing up, nor the engine, or my own head from your obstreperously obnoxious exhaust. I won't wonder whether or not we'll be suddenly surprised when we go for a cruise in the woods and we get stuck and have to haul your huge tail end out of a spongy bog. Jeremy had no problem with that. But, you see, I'm not Jeremy. I only have so many good pairs of shoes, and not much money to replace them when they get eaten by dead vegetables.
Time and time again I've found myself repulsed by your existence. I can hear you approaching minutes before you arrive, because it is that distinct sound that hacks through my peace and quiet, mutilating my serenity. There's a reason why I slouch in you, allow you to be the barrier between the world and myself: I don't want to be seen with you. You're always screaming for attention when you drive down the street, your exhaust spewing gaseous death into the atmosphere, producing a consistent shriek. I am jealous Jeremy fell in love with you. I'm jealous Jeremy would rather fix your broken-down, useless, rusted, rotted body than spend time with me.
Alas, lo and behold, you shall soon be gone. A blurry figure with the key in hand, graciously inserting it, and with a slight swivel of the wrist, that angelic engine awakens. A foot tenderly easing on the gas pedal, you advance with initial hesitation. Your silhouette a dark mass against a quiet sky, the only sound I can register is one that has never before sounded so beautiful.
-Krystin
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Monday, January 14, 2013
Revenge.
REVENGE.
(Cue the first four notes of Beethoven's 5th Symphony.)
Perhaps it's not in the best interest of others that quite a bit comes to mind when I think revenge. But, the important thing is that I haven't acted out what goes on in my head. (Yet.) Revenge is like a bud sprouting from the tree of humanity. Stay with me here. It's a binary feeling, the primary being anger. It's normal to want to retaliate. Think back to when you were in Kindergarten, and a kid stole your animal cracker. Did you take something of theirs? Or, were you that kid that told the teacher? Personally, I was the one that kicked the other and walked away, but we all have our own ways of resolving things, I suppose. Of course, I've also grown since then and have learned to use words to get my point across, instead. I guess that's not always the best, either.
It's probably not surprising that, as a teenage girl, I'm reminded of past relationships when revenge is mentioned. I tend to lean on music as my pillar of stability. Without music, there is no doubt in my mind that I would be a serial killer. I wouldn't be sane if music didn't exist. Listening to, and creating, music is one method that I use to deal with -well, anything, really, but for the sake of this topic,- break-ups. Now that I look at it, the songs on my SD card that deal with revenge seem to be more prevalent than other types of songs. I listen to country music 98% of any given time. So, naturally, the songs below that I've added are country.
The device with which I'm using doesn't allow me to embed videos to the page, so you'll have to settle for links. Deal with it.
One of my favorite post-break-up songs would have to be >Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood.< Probably because I can relate to the song, sort of. I've had the urge more than once to chuck a decent-size rock through the windshield of my ex's jeep, but not because he cheated on me. If he had cheated on me, he'd have his balls cut off. (Sorry, no baby gravy for scumbags.) Nonetheless, whether he cheated or not, it's still a great song.
FLASHBACK: THE OLDIES, BUT GOODIES.
At an early age, it was obvious that I had an interest in music. However, the first full song I learned wasn't Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. It was a song by the Dixie Chicks, a trio of girls with a violin. The song that I'll be providing via link is one of their more popular songs, and probably for a good reason. It's a song about a low-life wife-beater. Enough said. Sit back, and enjoy >Goodbye Earl by Dixie Chicks.<
I would imagine that Shakepeare's Hamlet is the most well-known play that deals with revenge. If I were Hamlet, I'd want revenge, too. His uncle marries his mother barely two months after his father's death. That alone is enough to make anybody angry. Whoops, it looks like that's not the only thing uncle Claudius has done to piss off the melancholy Prince. It turns out that dear ol' unlce Claudius killed King Hamlet, winning his wife, the throne, and control. I don't blame Hamlet for wanting to retaliate.
We've all had our moments when we've wanted to get back at someone for screwing us over. However, I find that karma's the best form of revenge. After all, karma's a bitch, and everybody knows it. What better way is there to retaliate than to let fate do all the work?
It's probably not surprising that, as a teenage girl, I'm reminded of past relationships when revenge is mentioned. I tend to lean on music as my pillar of stability. Without music, there is no doubt in my mind that I would be a serial killer. I wouldn't be sane if music didn't exist. Listening to, and creating, music is one method that I use to deal with -well, anything, really, but for the sake of this topic,- break-ups. Now that I look at it, the songs on my SD card that deal with revenge seem to be more prevalent than other types of songs. I listen to country music 98% of any given time. So, naturally, the songs below that I've added are country.
The device with which I'm using doesn't allow me to embed videos to the page, so you'll have to settle for links. Deal with it.
One of my favorite post-break-up songs would have to be >Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood.< Probably because I can relate to the song, sort of. I've had the urge more than once to chuck a decent-size rock through the windshield of my ex's jeep, but not because he cheated on me. If he had cheated on me, he'd have his balls cut off. (Sorry, no baby gravy for scumbags.) Nonetheless, whether he cheated or not, it's still a great song.
FLASHBACK: THE OLDIES, BUT GOODIES.
At an early age, it was obvious that I had an interest in music. However, the first full song I learned wasn't Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. It was a song by the Dixie Chicks, a trio of girls with a violin. The song that I'll be providing via link is one of their more popular songs, and probably for a good reason. It's a song about a low-life wife-beater. Enough said. Sit back, and enjoy >Goodbye Earl by Dixie Chicks.<
I would imagine that Shakepeare's Hamlet is the most well-known play that deals with revenge. If I were Hamlet, I'd want revenge, too. His uncle marries his mother barely two months after his father's death. That alone is enough to make anybody angry. Whoops, it looks like that's not the only thing uncle Claudius has done to piss off the melancholy Prince. It turns out that dear ol' unlce Claudius killed King Hamlet, winning his wife, the throne, and control. I don't blame Hamlet for wanting to retaliate.
We've all had our moments when we've wanted to get back at someone for screwing us over. However, I find that karma's the best form of revenge. After all, karma's a bitch, and everybody knows it. What better way is there to retaliate than to let fate do all the work?
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Satire for Dummies
Satire. What is it? Oh, you don't know satire is? Well, then. You're just an idiot.
That, right up there, is satire, my friend. I ridiculed you for not knowing what satire is. Clever, huh?
Okay, but, no, really... what is satire? Well, ridicule is a form of satire, as well as sarcasm, irony (verbal and dramatic), and parody. Satire is used to make fun of a behavior in order to derive a reaction of contempt. Now you're probably thinking, "What does that even mean?". To put it in simpler terms, it basically just means they want to call you out on your behavior so you'll realize you're acting like an idiot, and maybe you'll stop. This isn't always the intention, but for the most part, it is. Parodies, for example, aren't typically created in order to change the behavior, but rather for the entertainment aspect of it. We use satire every day without even realizing it. Think about it. How often do you find yourself chatting with friends and something sarcastic just seems to slip right out? I'm willing to bet it happens more often that you know.
I don't know about the rest of you, but I seem to be more familiar with sarcasm than any other form of satire. I tend to be quite a sarcastic Sally. Even if I'm not saying something sarcastic, I'm typically always thinking sarcastic remarks ninety-five percent of the time. What can I say? It's a habbit.
A fad, if you will, I've noticed lately is the obsession with a figure commonly known as Slender Man. Slender Man originated as a German folktale. The basic idea behind this tall, skinny, faceless freak is that he steals children. The slender fellow also gained his fame from the youtube series on the MarbleHornet channel. If you so choose, you can watch the series. However, I strongly advise you don't watch the videos at two in the morning when you're having a sleepover in your friend's basement where it's dark and scary and makes you want to pee your pants. Yes, I am talking out of experience. I saw the videos for the first time a little over a year ago, and yet I still cannot walk alone in the park when it's dark out, for fear that Slendy is lurking nearby. & No, I am not joking, or being sarcastic. I am dead serious.
*cough* Well, now that I've introduced you to my dear ole pal, Slendy, let me explain why I'm introducing you to this nice fellow. (Did you catch that? That was sarcasm.) Also on youtube, a guy named Shane Dawson has a channel of videos. He's known for vlogging and making hilarious spoofs. I was just a' trollin' on youtube and came across a spoof, or parody, made by Shane Dawson featuring -you guessed it!- Slender Man, or, rather an impostor. *duh duh duuuuh* Two girls are running from Slendy in the woods, and when they both stumble, Slendy, very slowly, approaches them. One of the girls lightens the mood by complimenting him on how skinny he is. You notice that Slendy seems to be.. a tad on the homosexual side. He gets all flustered and thanks the girls for being so sweet. I found it quite comical.
Warning: Watch only the first two minutes of the video; the rest of the video is irrelevant.
That, right up there, is satire, my friend. I ridiculed you for not knowing what satire is. Clever, huh?
Okay, but, no, really... what is satire? Well, ridicule is a form of satire, as well as sarcasm, irony (verbal and dramatic), and parody. Satire is used to make fun of a behavior in order to derive a reaction of contempt. Now you're probably thinking, "What does that even mean?". To put it in simpler terms, it basically just means they want to call you out on your behavior so you'll realize you're acting like an idiot, and maybe you'll stop. This isn't always the intention, but for the most part, it is. Parodies, for example, aren't typically created in order to change the behavior, but rather for the entertainment aspect of it. We use satire every day without even realizing it. Think about it. How often do you find yourself chatting with friends and something sarcastic just seems to slip right out? I'm willing to bet it happens more often that you know.
I don't know about the rest of you, but I seem to be more familiar with sarcasm than any other form of satire. I tend to be quite a sarcastic Sally. Even if I'm not saying something sarcastic, I'm typically always thinking sarcastic remarks ninety-five percent of the time. What can I say? It's a habbit.
A fad, if you will, I've noticed lately is the obsession with a figure commonly known as Slender Man. Slender Man originated as a German folktale. The basic idea behind this tall, skinny, faceless freak is that he steals children. The slender fellow also gained his fame from the youtube series on the MarbleHornet channel. If you so choose, you can watch the series. However, I strongly advise you don't watch the videos at two in the morning when you're having a sleepover in your friend's basement where it's dark and scary and makes you want to pee your pants. Yes, I am talking out of experience. I saw the videos for the first time a little over a year ago, and yet I still cannot walk alone in the park when it's dark out, for fear that Slendy is lurking nearby. & No, I am not joking, or being sarcastic. I am dead serious.
*cough* Well, now that I've introduced you to my dear ole pal, Slendy, let me explain why I'm introducing you to this nice fellow. (Did you catch that? That was sarcasm.) Also on youtube, a guy named Shane Dawson has a channel of videos. He's known for vlogging and making hilarious spoofs. I was just a' trollin' on youtube and came across a spoof, or parody, made by Shane Dawson featuring -you guessed it!- Slender Man, or, rather an impostor. *duh duh duuuuh* Two girls are running from Slendy in the woods, and when they both stumble, Slendy, very slowly, approaches them. One of the girls lightens the mood by complimenting him on how skinny he is. You notice that Slendy seems to be.. a tad on the homosexual side. He gets all flustered and thanks the girls for being so sweet. I found it quite comical.
Warning: Watch only the first two minutes of the video; the rest of the video is irrelevant.
Huckleberry Finn & Satire:
Personally, it's a little hard for me to understand just how Twain incorporates satire into The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, but whatever. I can only say with almost complete certainty that I know of one example of satire in Huckleberry Finn. Although, I don't really see the humor aspect of it; I see the irony of it. You may have heard about the Hatfields and McCoys, families that were caught up in a rivalry passed down from previous generations. How thoughtful, right? Twain managed to tie in a family rivalry between the Grangerfords and the Shepherdsons. The two families can't stand each other, yet they don't even know why they're fighting. They can't even remember how the feud started. It's ridiculous, and not to mention, a waste of energy that could be otherwise put toward obsessing over Leonardo DiCaprio. (Sorry, I can't help myself.) They basically have no reason to be fighting. Twain recognizes how ridiculous this idea is, and it shows in the novel. He writes the families' stories so that in the end, they kill each other. Now let's think about that. First of all, they don't even remember why the hell they're fighting! Then, they kill each other when they don't even remember why the hell they're fighting! It's such a waste of time and energy! I think Twain does a good job, for the most part, on letting the satire shine through on that one. However, I'll be honest. I can't quite catch on to how Twain incorporates satire into anything else.
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